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寫 "漪" 生 活

July 10, 2018
by ladysuki
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The Second time… does it gets easier?

Today is my first day back to work after 16 weeks of maternity leave.. with heavy yet haste footsteps, once again, back to a working-pumping mom.

I always wanted to write about my second pregnancy, how to cope with Pregnancy and a Terrible Two toddler… but only managed to do it now in the nursing room. I guess it doesn’t get easier even when it’s the second time. In fact, it’s much more difficult! I felt more shocked and scared than happy when I first know I’m pregnant again.


Oh shit, is this real or not??

Well well.. when it’s the second time, I am a lil bit less excited, I shared a lil bit lesser on our Fb/Ig, and I am a lil bit less wary of being pregnant, I am a lil more worried about Vera, but I did become a lil braver and stronger so time passes a lil faster this way. Even for Daddy Pail, the day I told him i was pregnant, he went out to sing Ktv w his colleagues! See the difference? Haha.. but he still made it a point to accompany me to every single check-up! 😉

Vera was just about to turn two years old, and beginning to show all the terrible two syndromes that drove both Pail and me off crazy and mad and angry every single day… It was a time where we need to introduce Rules and Punishment to her world.


Looook what she has done, and that face!

Both Pail and I lost our temper for god-knows how many times whenever Vera was trying to test our limits, and even though I am pregnant, with all the morning sickness kicking in.. there is no leeway. She only cries and wants Mummy to carry, she became more unreasonable than before.. I was all the time bending up and down, carrying her.. altho Pail tries to do most of the carrying (i wasn’t able to use the baby carrier at all), she only became even more clingy to me than before.. Especially BEDTIME BATTLES. Only Mummy can go to bed with her, she cries big time when it’s Daddy. Even if it’s just passing a milk bottle. I got so worried that how am I ever gonna cope with two crying babies at bedtime every night???? Reay fustrated whenever I hear her say “I don’t want Papa!”, and it’s also hard on Papa because which parent likes to hear that at all?!

Whoever told me 2 years is a good gap to have another child, either you must have forgotton how tough it is to survive the pregnancy with a two-year old, or your elder child is such an angel, or your pregnancy was a super easy one?


That’s the little seed. 😉

With my gynae’s approval, we went ahead with our Melbourne trip even before first trimester ends!! Haha!

No regrets at all! Only thing was I couldn’t eat poached eggs, and drink coffee. Boo! But it was still fun, as it was our first time travelling with Allen and Wanqi, and it was FUN esp. for Vera!! They are such great travelling partners, helping to take care of Vera, and me too.

Thankfully, thankfully.. all the scans and tests I did in this pregnancy were ok, I also did the Harmony blood test after 12 weeks, that was for checking Downs, which could also tell us the gender of our baby. 🙂

To be honest, deep in my heart, I thought and hoped for a girl soooo much, I wanted a sister for Vera…… So I was quite disappointed to know, it was a boy. The whole world says Girl and Boy is just nice, is great, is wonderful. But maybe because I longed for a sister myself, I hoped to give Vera a sister too. Practically, I felt so sad that all the pretty clothes and shoes that Vera has outgrown, cannot be passed to her brother now. 🙁 And our flat only has 2 bedrooms, which means, we need get a bigger flat so that they can have their own bedrooms in future! Even thinking of a boy’s name was soo much more difficult, we didn’t have any feel for any boys’ names… but finally settled with Oliver, just a few days before I popped.

Meanwhile, in Sept, we celebrated our birthdays! Oh Oliver, sorry we didn’t managed to make your birthday fall in Sept. But you get your very own birthday month while your Daddy, Mummy and Jiejie has to share one birthday month. ;p

Oh ya, this pregnancy, I can drink plain water, no need Fiji water anymore!! Haha… but before I got too happy, I had another very weird pregnancy syndrome that no one else I know had before.. I STRICTY can’t take anything sweet or strong flavoured, at all! Those tastes only leave me with a very very bitter and disgusting taste that caused me nausea and want to puke. My taste buds simply went crazy, in fact, I was only able to take citrus fruits that I hated all my life, I actually craved to eat the most sour and bitter grapefruit everyday! Wth… I can’t even eat an apple, banana, papaya.. or drink any sweet beverage. I can only go for Teh-O-Kosong! This kinda lasted throughout my pregnancy though it got better bit by bit after 5-6months.

To be more positive, this kinda “this cannot eat, that cannot eat” diet kept me under control, I didn’t get Gestational Diabetes. But, that doesn’t mean my weight gain was under control, my gynae wondered why because Oliver was growing so rapidly that she says I’m gonna have another big baby! She warned me every month, that stressed me out…


We went for many morning/evening walks..

Before my second trimester went by just like that, we also went for a solo-trip to Bangkok without Vera!!! Hee hee.. I planned it in such a way that we will be away on weekdays so that most of the time, she is in school and doesn’t miss our presence so much. This trip was certainly a much needed good break for both Pail and myself. Break from being parents, and back to just two of us before we become four of us.

We also went for Mayday concert when we came back to Sg!!

So…. that was how I struggled with my second pregnancy.. how about Vera? How did she cope with having a Didi… I read up a lot on how to break news to your elder child, and the best way was thru reading books to them. So I got two books from Carousell to introduce a new baby to her, “My New Baby” and “There’s a house in Mommy”. And I am pretty conscious of siblings jealousy.. and kept reminding myself not to neglect her feelings.

We read the books almost throughout my whole pregnancy.. and she loved those books! She kinda got the idea that she is having a didi, and didi is in Mummy’s stomach, and Mummy gets sick because of that because she also saw how much I puked into plastic bags in Papa’s car whenever our car goes over a hump… she even tried to imitate me! But with the whole world kept asking her about her Baby-didi, she really gets reminded of it all the time until there was a period I felt it was too much I stopped reading the books and mentioning Didi to her. She was having all these tension, she started biting her friends in class and pushing them. Again, I read up a lot online and found that tension might be the reason. So to all those having a second child, pls take note of these signs in your elder child.

Then third trimester came by, I was heavily pregnant, but I was still able to move about quite freely. Phew, we still went out a lot and also did visiting during CNY, (can’t eat much CNY goodies tho because of being wary of gaining too much weight may result in a huge baby), but being pregnant, I’m not at all afraid of those annoying questions abt “When u having the second baby” and “Wah.. u put on weight ah?” anymore!! HAHAHA!

Since I was moving about ALOT, bending up and down picking Vera (and her toys) up all the time.. I was hoping for natural contractions but still.. it didn’t happen. Oliver grew at a much faster rate than Vera in my stomach, my gynae advised us that most likely we can induce labor.. so at around 38 weeks, we already decided if he is not coming out yet, we will induce labor in a week’s time.


I took much lesser bump shots this time round, in fact, I almost forgot to do that!

What we didn’t expected was… *thunder and lightning strikes* Vera was diagnosed with the freaking #1 hated HFMD at this time!!!! WTH.. I was all the time in my mind, thinking and planning of how we will let her come hospital to visit her didi for the first time.. and now this?! She cannot stay near to me as advised by my gynae and her Pd, because she may spread to me/the newborn. So she was being sent to Grandma’s place for two weeks.. the most critical two weeks.

I was sooooo upset whenever I had to say Goodbye to her every evening after we have dinner at In-laws place. Especially when she started to miss us, and says she wants to go home with us… Though we managed to get doctor’s clearance so that she can resume school. But she still has to stay away another week (as advised by doctor, just to be safe for the newborn baby). OMG, now that she knows she is well already and thought she can go home with us, we told her Sorry, she can’t, because the next day, I am gonna get admitted to induce labor. I had a talk with her, and she seems to understand… she looked down, and after pausing awhile in deep thoughts, she said Ok Mummy. Awwwwww…. Oh dearr, my girl seemed to grow up so much within a week! (physically and mentally!) Physically because at In-laws place, she really put on alot of weight, her face got so round, because she was all the time snacking and snacking. Haiz.. anyway her “Ok Mummy” made me cryyy on the way home……. I missed her so much! From my first trimester to last day of my pregnancy, I felt like it was such a long longgg journey for her… tho she was still Terribly-two, but she grew with me.

So, finally… next up, Oliver’s birth story. I don’t know how long again will that take to write up an entry. Stay tuned!

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Categories: Motherhood, Pregnancy

December 21, 2016
by ladysuki
0 comments

2016年 12月 21日 ✈️天空

很久很久沒有這般平靜地,
你看你的電影 我追我的劇.
看累了就小睡一下,
還可以靠著你的肩…


這是自從當了爸媽後沒有的生活,很懷念吧?
就讓我們接下來的五天放鬆偷閒一下下!

祝我們結婚五週年紀念 快樂!

June 17, 2016
by ladysuki
0 comments

So, how have I been coping..

My life is at its most complete state, but happiness shouldn’t be taken for granted. I hope to write about it.. 

From the minute I know I was pregnant, besides all The Joy, it was actually roller coaster for me, overwhelming.. Why am I getting all the pregnancy symptoms anyone could have? Morning sickness didn’t let me off until 4 months later. I was so laid back after that and started to enjoy my pregnancy since it subsided a bit.. we even started planning for our babymoon to Bangkok!! Who will forsee that one day before our trip.. just what are the chances.. we were told there were “abnormalities” found during the 5-months detailed scan, and this Doctor, looking very concerned.. wrote an additional remark asking us to do further tests to be assured that it isn’t Downs. Whut?! Whattttt???? Downs? You kidding me rte? One day before our babymoon, and this happens. We thought of cancelling the trip, even until the last minute sitting at Coffee Bean at the Changi Airport, I wanted to go home so much, but I was glad Pail got me up the plane. It was a Public Holiday and weekend next 2 days, clinics won’t be open, so there was no point staying in Sg crying, might as well cast everything aside, come back then face it. We came back after a week to do the test, waited another 2 weeks for the results to see a “Low risk” returned. Phew! A loud Phew!!

Phew

Life was put on “Fast forward x60”, since I’ve last written about her Birth Story.. hoho.. lets talk about Confinement!! Yes, the last stage of “Pregnancy”, they call it the Fourth Trimester. I survived! Thanks to Pail who stayed by my side, he took a month’s leave to accompany me! To all new-Dads, you may not know but your support is super important! 

Thanks to my MIL who came over to stay with us, instead of me going over. I am so very grateful for that. 各位觀眾, I managed to stay alive after not showering for 12 freaking days.. and only drinking red dates logan water, omg can you imagine someone craving to drink plain water?!! Muahahahaha….

For the first month, I only need to wake up every four hours to pump gas milk, she will help with the night feeds. Hah.. waking up to pump milk shouldn’t be “only”, it’s freaking tiring.. MIL had doubts about breastfeeding, and I still remember got soo stressed up with that, she couldn’t understand how direct-latching works, she would always first think direct latch isn’t filling enough. Baby is not full because breastmilk is too dilute and because you can’t see how many ounces through direct latching. Our Little Sesame only latched for the first week, then I became exclusively pumping. Sigh.. anyways, I am already grateful enough that she is willing to help and learn how to handle breastmilk! ENDURE! And by now, she is totally an expert already! 😀 

And happily at three months, I went back to full-time latching because I was on my own! Yay! Some tips here.. there are many reasons why a baby is screaming even after a nap, after feeding or after changing of diaper. It could be as simple as she needs to be burped, or she just needs a change in position! Learn this! It’s not just hungry! You don’t need to keep feeding! My baby knows how to reject milk when she is full, but not all babies know, sometimes you end up overfeeding! 

I felt like I’ve entered a whole new world in Breastfeeding! My entire life changed!!!

One day after delivery, how to get my newborn to latch on correctly? How to handle breastmilk? How many hours can I leave the milk in room temp.? How long can I keep the milk in fridge/freezer? And as stupid as it sounds, I need to watch a Youtube video to learn “How to fill a milk bag without air bubbles”. And as funny as it sounds, Pail was the one who taught me how to do it in d end! Haha!

And wth is breastfeeding jaundice? No, sunbaths doesnt help, she just need to drink more to flush out the bilirubin! Doctor say one! Day and night (and middle of the night) pumping and pumping.. Finally milk supply kicks in vigourously and I start suffering from bad engorgement, blocked ducts, big and small lumps over.. and mastitis, high fever, inflammation, milk blisters.. it’s crazy!!!!!! I stood countless times in the hot showers for hours just to hand-express milk to clear the blocked ducts.. On top of all the carrying, I injured my wrist tendon and till now I can’t exert pressure or even write properly without feeling pain.

Day and night, I need to plan my pumping schedule around the clock whenever I go out now.. and at work, I’ll need to book meeting rooms to pump milk, and if there are none available, I need to wait to pump during lunchtime.. My HR has just recently placed a ban on using meeting rooms.. Sigh! Damn pissed.

And.. its gonna be a long time since I can wear pretty dresses because they are not bf-friendly! There are three sections in my wardrobe now, nursing-friendly,  pumping-friendly and not-friendly clothes. And noooo wired bras, so I bought like a dozen of Uniqlo Airism Bratops, they are like the Best Nursing bra!! I can nurse at ease under a nursing cover because it’s so convenient. 

Do you know every bf-ing mom carry sibeh-heavy bag to and fro work (No more small and fashionable handbags) because the pump and bottles of milk with icepack in a cooler bag are no joke! If we need to give up seats to the needy on trains, I think we should give up seats to bf-ing working mums too!

Also, it is a luxury to be able to sleep through for two-four hours. This is seriously affecting my health! When your baby still can’t sleep through the night yet, she wakes up and smiles at u at 3am, I really don’t know to laugh or cry! By 6 months, I am certain I want to cry! T_T I was reluctant to do Sleep Training but I think I should have done it earlier… sobs

Breastfeeding knowledge is so wide that I’ve already started reading up during pregnancy, yet there’s still always so much to read about. I’ll recommend “Breastfeeding Mums” Facebook group to all, it’s really informative and supportive!  Thank you Irene Toh for inviting me to the group, and I would also specially like to thank my dear friend Tess Lee, who was super duper uber supportive to me during this period. I swear that I’ll be as supportive as I can to any friend facing breastfeeding woes!! Yea, feel free to come to Suki!!! Knowing how mother’s milk can do good to your baby makes it all worth it. This must be my biggest determination since I was born. 

Suki 好介绍 time. Please download Wonder Weeks app, it’s amazing!! Babies go through growth spurts and leaps from time to time. Every leap, they develop and learn new skills.. and tend to be more cranky and needy. Little little things to us, can be a great skill they need to learn. This app preempts us and teaches us how to help our little one learn and develop. Damn zhun one! It’s a paid app btw. 😉

Oh ya.. this Monthly Vaccine jabs is a tough nut to deal with… because baby will be a bit feverish and cranky after jabs, so keep nursing! Doctor say one! Even if you are sick, just wear a mask and keep nursing! Here’s a smal piece of advice to all, just go to polyclinics! Infants get priority queues, and it’s FOC for most jabs.

And best to arrange your jabs early morning, on a Friday.. and you have whole weekend to be with your baby if she is unwell. Just don’t be too bothered about those stupid percentiles digits, as long as your baby is constantly growing and developing well, it’s ok!

By the way, who says baby skin is always smooth and nice.. why is my baby skin not the case?? 🙁 See, she’s still smiling just breaks my heart even more!

She has persisting cradle cap that attacks on the brows, scalp and ears! and now, furious eczema! sobsss… Self-reflecting moment, is she allergic to my milk? Re-looked at my diet and cutting out diary soy seafood spices and eggs… We brought her to the PD twice, doc says it isn’t my diet.. so.. what is it? Its just some babies take months to years to mature their skin in the world outside Mummy’s womb. Also.. try to stay in a cooling environment, its possibly the heat is making her rashes worse too..

And.. latest news, Teething!! V is teething at 5.5 months! Two at a time, and not sure if it’s the leap, or issit teething, she sleeps less, and sleeps worse!! As bad as waking up every hour and cryyyyy! I also want to cry! Hang on there!! 2 more sprouting teeth at 8.5 months!! 誰能讓她舒服一點,我日子也能好過一點….

I cccccseriously do not know how to write an end to this entry, I drafted this entry since she was four months old, and keep adding.. addig.. only managed to post this up when she is nine months old! No time because I rather spend time with her everyday! It’s magical that she makes me laugh at the end of every workday! No wonder people quit their jobs to be stay-home moms! 

Parenthood is a lifetime!! Not just because I’m a new mom I get more paranoid, but it’s because A Mother Never Stops Worrying. And pls think twice before you call any Mom, especially working moms, a “Typical” mom, because that is such an understatement.

December 16, 2015
by ladysuki
4 Comments

Birth Story of Vera

And so the EDD-day has arrived, which means the baby in my belly has grown gigantic and reached 40th week full term. How can we not take a selfie? ;p

Last picture the night before we head out for dinner with YishunKakis. Hee..

We have decided to take our gynae’s  advice, to induce labor as baby’s getting heavy and big, labor may not be easy for me, better not end up in emergency caesarian. 

Early in the morning ard 8am, we set off to our gynae’s clinic, feeling really nervous and excited! I don’t have to look out for contractions or worry about being messy if I burst the waterbag at home or in the car.. heh..

We were too early, the clinic was not open yet.. so, Go for breakfast!! Delifrance again.. seriously, TMC need more food options!!!

Around 10am, I was in the room all set up to monitor baby’s heartbeat, and my contractions.. seems like there are no signs of labor, so my gynae inserted the induction pill. Interesting rte.. a pill can do such wonders. That’s me lying there waiting for the pill to set in…


Once the pill has set in, we were told to go walk walk, as much as I can, so as to “activate” the pill. We went to Orchard, but shops were not open yet, I decided to have my final hairwash, a good one. Only Protrim at Takashimaya was available with not too extravagant charges, but result was worse than my own hairwash at home. =,= Ok nvm. Lets have a good lunch at Ding Tai Feng!!! Meanwhile, contractions began to get more regular and bad… I already lost most of my appetite. I used iPhone app Contractions to record the duration and intervals.

Around 12.30pm, we went back to the clinic, checked, diliation is only 1.5cm T_T
Waited till 2.30pm, gynae asked us to go do admission, I’m ready to be put on a drip to further induce my labor. Dear Little Sesame still don’t wanna come out ahh… 

I was given medicine to clear my bowels. I immediately rushed to the toilet and let out everythinggggg.. I guess I lost 2kg instantly.. 😀 Gynae came by to check on me, and she promptly decided to break my waterbag with her magic finger.. a prick and GUSH!!! It’s like a warm gush of water rushing and flowing out… what a sensation lor!!! Bbbrrahhhh!!

With the pill in the morning, drip and breaking of waterbag.. it only meant PAIN, VERY PAIN contractions! The nurses prepared and taught me how to breathe in the laughing gas, it kinda eased a lil’ bit but not much help when contractions became so frequent and strong. I even had side effects from it and puked!! Arghh, decided to dump the whole laughing gas idea!

Epidural.. yes. Never did I expect my whole epidural experience to be so bad.. thanks to a bad anesthesia doctor and nurse! The contractions were almost unbearable, the pain was at my abs and front that I can’t even lie down properly. When the epidural injection needles were poked into my back, I jumped a bit with natural reflex,  I was then told to curl up to let him do the procedure. The doctor said I shldn’t jump because he can’t guarantee if he found my spine or not, he’s just trying his luck, if he didn’t manage to find it, he will just have to redo and poke again. ARGH. Where’s his professionalism? Really. Meanwhile, he never stopped chatting with this pinoy  nurse who’s assisting him, chatting bo liao stuffs like where to go and what to eat later.. Seriously?!! 老娘痛得要命,你們在話家常,真想大喊 “都給我閉嘴!” I CRIED feelin pissed and 委屈. I do not understand why Pail was not allowed to stay with me, he had to stand outside to wait.

Time passed and I do not know how long later.. I felt worse and worse with the soreness cramps even after the epidural procedure. I was told not to lie on my back, so I layed on one side, holding on to the bed rails, with one hand on drip unable to move, another hand with blood pressure monitored and had to stretch out straight. Oh man! 

Contraction pain became cramps that were so sore I can’t take it.. 感覺好酸好酸~ Nurse Tin is a much nicer and more compassionate nurse who took over and gave me oxygen gas to breathe. She’s also a filipino, I do not know how to describe what is “酸” to her. Haha.. and I still have not feel numbness at my feet at all. =,= I wish my tolerance of pain is as high as my tolerance level towards medicine. This insensitive doctor’s attitude was really bad when Nurse Tin suggested if I can increase dosage of epidural. Instead of advising me what to do, he asked me “So how? U want to increase dosage ah? Up to u la.. so how? u want? u want?” ARGH!! I miss my Dr Wong… but I could only cry to Pail. 

Around 5pm in the evening, Pail went to have his dinner. The nurses inserted urine tube for me so that I don’t have to get down the bed, well I couldn’t anyway. I felt like a 尿失禁 patient.. can’t even feel myself peeing, but I can see it happening! haha.. I asked Nurse Tin to check dilation for me, 3-4cm! (with ongoing soreness and oxygen intake) but gynae estimated it’s probably gonna happen at midnight.

Another 2 hrs passed, my dilation suddenly shot up to 8-9cm! That’s it, ready for the Toughest mission of all ever~~~ every time there’s a contraction coming, I need to raise my two legs up on the bed, signal Nurse Tin who was also my midwife, Pail will hold my hand and I’ve to curl my chin inwards touching my chest, HOLD MY BREATH to do THREE PUSHES. It’s like using abs muscle to poo during constipation but with 10x more energy and continuous three pushes.. PUSH, PUSHH.. PUSHHHHHHH with all my might yet I cannot make the “erghhhhh (gek sai)” sound, coz the nurses say I may hurt my throat, so what we see in movies are all fake!! I can’t scream at all?! I had to keep quiet and push?!?! The whole procedure is just too toughhh, I can only hold my breaths long enough to do 2 pushes, and around 8pm, gynae came back in her casual outfit, oooh so she has made a trip home to and fro as she didn’t expect my dilation to open so quickly. She had requested the nurses to prepare forceps earlier to assist my delivery, but, the inflexible paperwork system has delayed the delivery of forceps because they had to fill up some forms or duno what la.. anyways..

After an hour of PUSHHHHHing.. + the help of forceps and midwives pushing my belly, and most importantly Pail’s support by my side, our little sesame Baby Vera was born with weight of 3.5kg!!! 

*Pail and I both in tears!*

First touch ❤️

Yes!!! WE DID IT!!!

  
 
Many thanks to my gynae Dr Joycelyn Wong from ACJ Clinic at TMC. She has been super nice and supportive, I’ll highly recommend her to anyone!! 

Today I felt exceptionally emotional posting this entry, because Vera has reached the 3-months old milestone today!! Motherhood has been awesome. Darling Vera, Papa & Mama named you Vera because it means Faith. We hope you’ll always have faith in doing anything in your life. 🙂

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