do u know how it felt when u are feeling shitty inside yet u have to put up a smile on your face all night long? loneliness creeping into your heart, as if u were standing alone in the middle of a busy shenton way. a couple of your pals could have got u outta this shit but too bad, they couldn’t come in time so u decided to be on your way home then. seeing everyone went off in their own directions, it isnt a bad thing after all, in fact, it was quite a relief coz finally u dun hv to put up a strong front anymore.

for a split second, i felt like breaking down. coz when i scrolled through my phone book ytd, there is no one i could call. from tiong bahru back to khatib, i listened to mayday to comfort myself. back home i went for a hot bath then started tv-ing and relaxing on my sofa, all ready to release the tensed nerves after the torturing night. then the pals started calling up, eh sorry i’ve had enough for the night, and could’nt possibly force another smile anymore.

before i get used to all this shit, i know i’m still feelin down now.