Just For Laughs!! T.G.I.F!!<\/b> \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
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\nMy wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
\nShe said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’<\/p>\n
I bought her a scale.<\/p>\n
And then the fight started…<\/p>\n
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\nWhen I got home last night,
\nmy wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…
\nso, I took her to a gas station.<\/p>\n
And then the fight started…<\/p>\n
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\nI took my wife to a restaurant.
\nThe waiter, for some reason, took my order first.<\/p>\n
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”<\/p>\n
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””<\/p>\n
Nah, she can order for herself.”<\/p>\n
And then the fight started…<\/p>\n
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\nA woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
\nShe is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
\n‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
\nI really need you to pay me a compliment.’<\/p>\n
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’<\/p>\n
And then the fight started…..<\/p>\n
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\nMy wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.<\/p>\n
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday<\/p>\n
and then the fight started…..<\/p>\n
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\nA man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
\nSuddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.<\/p>\n
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
\n‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’<\/p>\n
So the man jumped out of the bed;
\nscared and naked jumped out the window.
\nHe smashed himself on the ground,
\nran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later he returned,
\nand went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman,
\n‘I AM your husband!’<\/p>\n
The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’<\/p>\n
And then the fight started…..<\/p>\n
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\nI asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”<\/p>\n
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
\n“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.<\/p>\n
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”<\/p>\n
And that’s when the fight started….<\/p>\n
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\nMy wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
\nI turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”<\/p>\n
“No,” she answered.<\/p>\n
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”<\/p>\n
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”<\/p>\n
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”<\/p>\n
And that’s when the fight started….<\/p>\n
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